


How could we be friends?

by PoemAboutCitylights



Category: Formula 1 RPF, lewis hamilton - Fandom, nico rosberg - Fandom
Genre: Confession, Falling In Love, Fluff, Forgivness, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 02:21:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8185334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemAboutCitylights/pseuds/PoemAboutCitylights
Summary: Lewis visits Nico after a tough race and a truth is finally revealed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote a few months ago. Enjoy it and if you like it, leave kudos and a comment. Thank you!

Nico had made his way back to the hotel as fast as he could, desperately trying to ignore what had happened today and failing completely at doing so.  
Winning the qualifying had given him so much hope for this day, for the race in Germany, with so many Mercedes fans and so many people coming to see him at his best.  
He had not only disappointed them but also the team, which had worked so hard during previous days, all for nothing - or actually a 19 fucking points gap between Lewis and himself concerning the championship.

  
But what was really driving him nuts was the fact that it seemed like Lewis was back in an unbeatable state again, winning race after race, just like in the last seasons.  
When the door of his hotel room fell close behind Nico, he quickly got into the shower, hoping that the hot water on his skin would wash away his insecurity and disappointment.  
And it helped indeed, at last he was able to look forward to his upcoming weeks off which he would spend away from the formula 1, with family and friends.

  
However, he could not get the race completely out of his head. His hopes were simply too high, Nico guessed and with a sigh, he crawled under the covers of his bed, feeling sort of relieved to finally end the day.  
And since he was totally exhausted, it didn't take him long to fall asleep, greeting the dullness, listening to his own steady breathing, thinking of the summerbreak - until there was a knock on the door and Nico literally jumped.

  
Hadn't he made it clear that he wanted to spend the night alone?  
He knew that some of the other drivers had decided to go for another few "german beers", so who could it be that tried to take him away from some peaceful hours of sleep?  
Verstappen, who had seemed overly excited the whole day because good 99 % of the dutch population had come to see him?  
Or Kimi with Seb, who had tried to cheer him up after a lost race some weeks ago?

  
He groaned and made his way towards the door, a bitter remark already on the tip of his tongue, but when he opened it, all of the blood in his body seemed to freeze immediately and he was sure that his heart skipped a beat, only to continue beating at double pace after that.

  
None other than his teammate was standing infront of him, still wearing his racing suit, which seemed a bit odd, at this hour of the day, but nonetheless not odder than the fact that he was knocking on Nico's door, especially after a day like this one.

  
"What do you want?", Nico asked and the question came out harsher than it was intended and he could see Lewis flinch.  
"I thought we could talk", the other driver answered and Nico could only frown at that.  
"What do you want to talk about? Did Toto send you?", he wondered if he had missed an important call or something but he could not remember a team meeting set for the evening.  
"No, Toto doesn't even know I'm here, I guess", Lewis' voice cracked and he swallowed, as if he had something important to say but couldn't bring himself to do so, "so, can I come in?"

  
Nico's gaze met Lewis' who quickly looked away and swallowed again.  
"Let's get it over with", Nico sighed and stepped aside, to make place for Lewis.  
"What about the balcony? I didn't get much fresh air during the last hours", Lewis proposed and Nico simply shrugged, following his teammate outside where the sat down on two large comfortable looking pillows.  
"So, what is it that you want to talk about?", Nico eventually asked and he knew that both of them were well aware of the fact that Lewis hadn't visited Nico in his room for over a year.  
Lewis let out a low chuckle, as if he wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to say and Nico took in a sharp breath.  
"Actually, it isn't something certain that I want to talk about. I just missed talking to someone - talking to you, I guess", he finally said in a rush and surprised Nico by doing so.  
"Don't you have many other frie- people- to talk to?", Nico responded and again, his voice sounded far mor cynical than it had been intended.  
But apparently, Lewis didn't pick up on it, he rather commented on it with an amused smile.  
"Yes, I do."  
"Than why do you want to talk to ME? We never talk, so why today?"  
"It's not the same when I'm not talking to you. It never was. And I want to tell you that I am sorry for what happened today. You would have deserved winning at home, just like I did in Silverstone."  
"Mh."  
"I mean it, Nico", Lewis sighed and turned to his teammate.  
"Yes, and still, you were better."  
Amusement lit up in Lewis' eyes and he chuckled again: "Yes but you really can't blame me for that, right?"

  
Lewis was right and that was what made it all the more frustrating for Nico. Lewis WAS faster, always a few seconds ahead and it always seemed almost effortlessly.  
And it also seemed like he wouldn't find a way to stop the world champion any time soon. He groaned.  
"You are a dick", Nico breathed and Lewis laughed, a pure, innocent laugh, filled with so much more which Nico wouldn't have realized if he didn't knew his teammate that well.  
After all these weeks without talking to each other, he still knew how Lewis brain - the brain of his best friend - worked.  
And that fact made Nico smile.  
"Do you know what your problem is?", Lewis asked.  
"My problem? What problem?"  
"You're too nice, Nico. You are not just trying to win a race for yourself, you always think that you owe someone. Your emotions and your professionalism are colliding all the damn time."  
"What?!"  
"Yeah, I've actually been thinking about it for quite a while", Lewis replied and Nico stared at him with narrowed brows.  
"You did what..? Why?"  
"I don't know, man. I guess I was trying to help you."  
Nico swallowed.  
"Why would you try to help me?!", he said those words through gritted teeth and immediately felt guilt rush through his body, even though he didn't quite understand why.  
And was it hurt that was now showing in Lewis' eyes?  
"Because we're-..." "Yes, teammates, I know. But take a look at the other teams, some don't give a flying fuck about their teammate."  
"I was going to say ' _because we're friends_ '", Lewis breathed and leaned his head back against the glass of the door.  
And Nico was still staring at him while something deep inside of him screamed at him to just fucking close his damn mouth which somehow must have fallen open. And then he laughed. A bitter, snorting laugh which was swelling up in his stomach and burst out.  
Now it was Lewis time to stare at his teammate and it was definitely hurt filling up his dark eyes.  
"Oh, shut it, Nico. I'm done here", he was back on his feet in a second and slipped into Nico's hotel room before Nico was even able to blink.  
"Lewis!", he shouted, trying to stand up as quick as Lewis did and immediately felt dizzy.  
"Oh, what it it, Nico? I was trying to talk to you, to sort stuff out!"  
"I'm sorry!"  
"So what?! You're always sorry, you're always trying to please everyone and you shouldn't be! You should have realized that you are who brought you here, that your strength is the reason why you're driving for the best team in world. And not whatever you think it is, be it the connections of your father or your pretty face. But your bitterness and your doubt destroys everything! You are always so insecure because you think you're not good enough and that's why you're not able to make any decisions. You're always waiting for a better option and you're waiting to long. So don't you fucking say that you're sorry when you're not and keep your damn mouth shut when you don't have anything nice to say", Lewis was completely out of breath when he finished his speech and there were tears dwelling up in his eyes.  
"I'm so-... I... But... I never asked you to over analyze my behavior! And yes, I'm always looking for a better option but so are you! That's what every formula 1 driver is doing! Do not blame me for things you would do as well!"  
"This isn't about driving and you know it! I meant what I said, I thought we were friends, I WANTED us to be friends so bad!"  
"But we aren't, Lewis. Not right now, maybe in the past, but definitely not now!"  
"Why not?"  
"Lewis... It just wouldn't..."  
"WHY NOT, NICO. Just spit it out now!"  
" ** _BECAUSE HOW COULD WE BE FRIENDS WHEN I WANT US TO BE SO MUCH MORE_**? When I think about your lips on mine every damn moment, when I can't concentrate on my work when you're around and I want to kiss and kill you at the same time? When I'm standing in front of your door at night, ready to tell you everything, to ask for forgiveness but don't have the courage to knock? How could we be friends, Lewis, when you are so much more to me?"  
Nico's breath was coming in short intakes now and he could hear his blood rushing through his veins, he could feel his heart tattooing cries of desperation against his ribs and Lewis' eyes on him.

  
"Do it", the other driver said, his voice trembling and shoulders shaking.

  
"Do what?", Nico breathed.

  
"Kiss me."


End file.
